Don’t Give In

When our son, Tim was maybe three or four-years-old I came home from the office and asked Lori how her day went.  She said it was kind of rough because she went to the park and Tim’s bigger cousin knocked him off the swing and he ended up on the ground crying.  So I immediately took Tim off to his room, looked him in the eye and said, “If one of your cousins try to knock you off the swing, don’t let them do it.  Don’t let them do it!”  A few days later I came home and Lori said they had gone to the park with the cousins again.  I asked if there was another incident and Lori said, “I didn’t see what happened but when I looked over Tim was on the swing happily swinging away, while his cousin was on the ground crying.”  I looked over at Tim and without saying a word he looked at me and simply smiled from ear to ear.

Tim learned a lesson we all may have been taught as kids: Don’t let them do it!  If we allow bullies to harass us, they will seize every opportunity to push us around.  There is a time and place for boundaries, toughness and simply saying, “Stop!”  Don’t give in to them.

We may have encountered that lesson at school, at work, or even at the park with our family members.  But somehow we rarely allow that lesson into the church.  Somehow we have thought letting others take advantage of us is, “The Christian thing to do.”

Of course Jesus taught us to turn the other cheek.  But didn’t he also demonstrate the need to turn the tables upside down when annoyance turns into exploitation?

There’s another story from the book of Acts that hammers home the “Don’t let them do it!” lesson:

The next morning some Jews formed a conspiracy and bound themselves with an oath not to eat or drink until they had killed Paul.  More than forty men were involved in this plot. 14 They went to the chief priests and the elders and said, “We have taken a solemn oath not to eat anything until we have killed Paul.  Now then, you and the Sanhedrin petition the commander to bring him before you on the pretext of wanting more accurate information about his case. We are ready to kill him before he gets here.”—Acts 23:12-15 (NIV)

Paul had arrived in Jerusalem, only to be arrested on trumped-up charges.  His accusers took matters to a drastic place, they wanted him dead.

But when the son of Paul’s sister heard of this plot, he went into the barracks and told Paul.  Then Paul called one of the centurions and said, “Take this young man to the commander; he has something to tell him.” So he took him to the commander.  The centurion said, “Paul, the prisoner, sent for me and asked me to bring this young man to you because he has something to tell you.” The commander took the young man by the hand, drew him aside and asked, “What is it you want to tell me?” He said: “Some Jews have agreed to ask you to bring Paul before the Sanhedrin tomorrow on the pretext of wanting more accurate information about him. 21 Don’t give in to them, because more than forty of them are waiting in ambush for him. They have taken an oath not to eat or drink until they have killed him. They are ready now, waiting for your consent to their request.”—Acts 23:16-21 (NIV)

Paul’s nephew has a very clear message the commander, and for all of us:

“Don’t give in to them.”—Acts 23:21 (NIV)

They didn’t give in:

The commander dismissed the young man with this warning: “Don’t tell anyone that you have reported this to me.”  Then he called two of his centurions and ordered them, “Get ready a detachment of two hundred soldiers, seventy horsemen and two hundred spearmen to go to Caesarea at nine tonight.  Provide horses for Paul so that he may be taken safely to Governor Felix.”--Acts 23:22-24 (NIV)

They refused to give in. 

There is a time to turn the other cheek.  This wasn’t it.  This was the time to say, “No” to giving in to others.

When abuse is happening, don’t give in to them.  When others decline to listen to the Holy Spirit, don’t give in to them.  When the priorities get so messed up that the organization is put ahead of the gospel, don’t give in to them.  When we are told to protect rather than partner, don’t give in to them.  When they try to smash you into their one-size-fits-all box, don’t give in to them.  When others promote their kingdom over God’s kingdom, don’t give in to them.  When they forbid you to plant in their town, don’t give in to them.  When they accidentally or overtly try to hinder church planting, don’t give in to them.

Church planter Steve Sjogren blogged, “If you are doing something outside the box, don’t take your denomination’s response overly seriously. If that’s you, face it, chances are you will never be understood very well. In the midst of my success as a planter… I was more or less tolerated by the leaders of my denomination because I broke the mold of how they thought churches were supposed to be planted. Denominational leaders are linear, systems people who play by the book – the book they wrote. They don’t know how to deal with innovators who are writing new books. They will admire your success, but they won’t know what to do with your methods. It’s best to just smile and flow with them as long as is possible.  Don’t be rebellious. Relish the wisdom they offer. Most of the time they are veterans who know their chops, but realize you are the one who is on site, not them. Don’t be a knucklehead and reject their wisdom, but on the other hand, don’t be an automaton and not weigh aspects of what they recommend.”

Have you ever noticed the number of times in the book of Acts that the early church leaders replaced acquiescence with boldness?  “No, we’re not going to do that…”  “Sorry, that’s not going to stop us…” 

“These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It’s only nine in the morning!  No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel…” –Acts 2:15-16 (NIV)

“Which is right in God’s eyes: to listen to you, or to him? You be the judges!  As for us, we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”—Acts 4:19-20 (NIV)

“Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.”—Acts 4:29 (NIV)

Peter said to her, “How could you conspire to test the Spirit of the Lord? Listen! The feet of the men who buried your husband are at the door, and they will carry you out also.”  At that moment she fell down at his feet and died. Then the young men came in and, finding her dead, carried her out and buried her beside her husband.—Acts 5:9-10 (NIV)

Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings!” —Acts 5:29 (NIV)

“You stubborn people! You are heathen at heart and deaf to the truth.”—Acts 7:51 (NLT)

Peter answered: “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money!  You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God.  Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart.  For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”—Acts 8:20-23 (NIV)

The list goes on and on.

I suspect they were just following the example of Jesus:

“When they heard this, the people in the synagogue were furious.  Jumping up, they mobbed him and forced him to the edge of the hill on which the town was built. They intended to push him over the cliff, but he passed right through the crowd and went on his way.”--Luke 4:28-29

Today might not be the time to let others run all over us.

If we are going to change the church planting world, we are going to have to stop letting the status quo push us off a cliff. If we are going to get unstuck, we are going to have to say something like:  “Stop!”

Let’s follow the example of Jesus, the example of the apostles, and let’s heed the words of Paul’s nephew:  Don’t give in to them.