No Greater Joy
Here is my wife’s, Lori’s favorite Bible verse:
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. —3 John 4 (NIV)
It is wonderful to hear that your children are walking in the truth. Every parent wants that.
Have you heard the saying, “You are only as happy as your unhappiest child?” There is some truth to that statement. And we will discuss that assertation in a bit.
Parents want their kids to be doing well—to be walking in the truth and not sidetracked by nonsense or evil.
But this verse isn’t just for parents.
The elder,
To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth.
Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. It gave me great joy when some believers came and testified about your faithfulness to the truth, telling how you continue to walk in it.3 John 1-3 (NIV)
The Apostle John wrote this letter as he neared the end of his life, a long life that had changed dramatically some six decades before, when Jesus had called John and his brother James out from their fishing boat. The boys had left their livelihood and their father Zebedee to follow Jesus. (By the way, theologian Jim Kennon has done exhaustive research and uncovered Zebedee’s last name—"Doodah.”)
3 John was most likely written around AD 90 from the island of Patmos, where John was exiled at the time. John wrote his letter to a man named Gaius. Gaius was a popular name in the first century; there are four Gaiuses mentioned in the New Testament. None of them were John’s actual children. If you’ve seen Joh’s other letters, you may recall that he referred to young people, especially younger believers as children—my dear children or little children. This Gaius was someone on John’s network, his “oikos,” his front row. And John was delighted to hear that Gaius was doing well.
You may or may not have children, but we all have people in our lives, people in the front row of our lives who we are praying for, pulling for and we would love to hear that they are walking in the truth.
How can we help the people in our family and the people on our front rows walk in the truth? This little letter suggests several ways to help people walk in truth.
1. Walk in the truth ourselves
"I want to divorce my wife."
"On what grounds?"
"She is out all night, every night, going from bar to bar."
"Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating?"
"Neither. She is looking for me."
Follow only what is good. Remember that those who do good prove that they are God’s children, and those who do evil prove that they do not know God. --3 John 11 (NLT)
John isn’t saying, do what I say not as I do. He walked the talk. We can too.
Are you only as happy as your least happy kid? Perhaps that is a myth. Check out this article by a happy mom:
“If my kids always see an unhappy mom, that will only make them less happy. One of my jobs as parent is to model positive traits for my children. If I want to teach them that they are responsible for their own happiness, that is something I have to show them. If I want my kids to be able to find joy in the small blessings despite their circumstances, they are going to need to see a mom who was able to do just that.
“Choosing to be unhappy in solidarity with my “saddest child” won’t take their sadness away. In fact, it may compound it. And it places the burden of my happiness onto my child which is too heavy a burden for anyone to carry.
“So mama, you are not destined to only be as happy as your saddest child. You are destined to be as happy as you choose to be….
“I haven’t got this thing all figured out, but I did some math. When considering the amount of kids I have and the challenges they currently face, I also thought about their personalities. Then I factored in future things such as spouses, careers, finances, in-laws, and their own children.
“I pretty quickly came to the truth. If I were only as happy as my saddest child, I was never going to be happy again! And that’s not something to strive for.
So mamas, take that burden off. Unpack it, unbuckle it, unzip it, leave it at the door. From now on, choose to be “only as happy as you want to be.”
--"Parenting Myth: You’re Only as Happy as Your Saddest Child” By Sharla Kostelyk
2. Make it a priority
I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. —3 John 4 (NIV)
John says of his children walking in truth: There is no greater joy.
If I am honest, I think our children might not walk in the truth because we have other joys—other greater joys.
Our top joy is watching the game, or coaching the kids in little league, or earning a living, or talking politics. There is nothing wrong with those things, but if they bring us greater joy than helping our children walk in the truth, we have a problem.
Johnathan asked his young son, "Greg, do you think I’m a bad father?"
"My name is Andrew," replied his son.
C.S. Lewis wrote about Satan and his imps planning their strategy for attacking the message of salvation. One of the demons says, “I’ve got the plan, master. When I get to earth and take charge of people’s thinking, I’ll tell them there’s no Heaven.” The devil responds, “Ah, they’ll never believe that. This Book of Truth is full of messages about the hope of Heaven through sins forgiven. They won’t believe that. They know there’s a glory yet future.” On the other side of the room another says, “I’ve got the plan. I’ll tell ’em there’s no hell.” “No good,” he says. “Jesus while He was on earth, talked more of hell than of Heaven. They know in their hearts that their wrong will have to be taken care of in some way. They deserve nothing more than hell.” And one brilliant little imp in the back stood up and said, “Then I know the answer. I’ll just tell them there’s no hurry.” And he’s the one Satan chose.
My roommate Marshal Shelley invited a young couple from seminary over to dinner during my first few weeks of graduate school. Tim and Ann Haugen were from Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin but studying at our same school in Denver. During the meal Tim revealed that his dad was a pastor, then he said something I will never forget. “Dad could have had a bigger church, a bigger ministry or a bigger career, but he made us kids his top priority.”
I never met Tim’s Dad, but I never forgot those words. I tried to keep the kids a top priority—failed some, but if we don’t make helping people our top priority, they are not our greatest joy.
3. Practice hospitality
Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers and sisters, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church about your love. Please send them on their way in a manner that honors God. It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. We ought therefore to show hospitality to such people so that we may work together for the truth. –3 John 5-8 (NIV)
John commends Gaius for his hospitality.
The word hospitality in the New Testament comes from two Greek words. The first word means love and the second word means strangers.
“Hospitality is not to change people, but to offer them space where change can take place.”
Henri Nouwen
How are you at hospitality? Do you have people over? Do you pay for meals? Do you invest in the people on your front row?
When we do, the truth spreads.
There are four mentions of the name Gaius in the New Testament, two of the Gaiuses mentioned in the Bible were known for their hospitality, and that is probably why John Bunyan, needing a name for his innkeeper in The Pilgrim’s Progress, chose the name “Gaius.” Gaius’s name means “happy” or “one who rejoices,” and the men who bore that name in Scripture seem to have known the joy that comes from serving the Lord.
4. Expose them to godly believers
Dear friend, you are being faithful to God when you care for the traveling teachers who pass through, even though they are strangers to you. They have told the church here of your loving friendship. Please continue providing for such teachers in a manner that pleases God. For they are traveling for the Lord,[c] and they accept nothing from people who are not believers. So we ourselves should support them so that we can be their partners as they teach the truth. –3 John 5-8 (NLT)
Everyone speaks highly of Demetrius, as does the truth itself. We ourselves can say the same for him, and you know we speak the truth. –3 John 12 (NLT)
Truth is a team sport. Christianity is a team sport. We help those in our care if we give them glimpses, not just of ourselves, but of the team.
This past month Lori, some other leaders and I were with several pastors and church planters from Uganda, Africa. Hearing their stories, of coming to faith in a war-torn country, as Lori put it, “It hurt my heart.” But it also strengthened our faith.
5. Limit their exposure to bad examples
I wrote to the church about this, but Diotrephes, who loves to be the leader, refuses to have anything to do with us. When I come, I will report some of the things he is doing and the evil accusations he is making against us. Not only does he refuse to welcome the traveling teachers, he also tells others not to help them. And when they do help, he puts them out of the church.
Dear friend, don’t let this bad example influence you. Follow only what is good. —3 John 9-11 (NLT)
Toward the end of this letter, John surprised us. He called out a man called Diotrephes.
Diotrephes, who loves to be first… --3 John 9 (NIV)
In only two verses, we have the following statements made about Diotrephes:
He loves to be first
He refuses to welcome the apostles into the church
He maliciously spreads gossip about men of God;
He withholds hospitality from other believers
He requires others to follow his poor example
He excommunicates anyone who crosses him.
John warns us to stay away from people like Diotrephes. Do you have one in your life? Keep them away from your children and from your front row.
3 John Verse 4
One time when we were in China, Lori commissioned an artist to paint 3 John 4 in Chinese on a canvas that we now hang in our house. (I think it is 3 John 4, but it might be a recipe for Kung Pao Chicken.) Regardless, let’s hang this verse on our hearts and take seriously our responsibility to help our children, family, and friends walk in truth.