My Own Obituary

I had a strange experience this past Wednesday.  Several years ago, I took the Ancestry.com DNA test.  I came out mostly Irish, with some Scottish and Jewish.  From time-to-time Ancestry sends updates.  Recently they reported my Irishness went from 52% to 63%, so I felt the temptation for a good stiff drink.  My Jewishness also increased, so the temptation was to make that drink something kosher like Manischewitz!

Wednesday, Ancestry sent me an update noting a vital records hint.  Our family is trying to track down our great-grandfather’s history, so I quickly looked at the hint.  The hint read “Obituary Collection.”  And then it listed my name.  That startled me.  Had I died, and no one mentioned it to me?

I immediately thought of Alfred Noble, who surprisingly read his own obituary in a French newspaper with the headline, “The Merchant of Death is Dead.”  The article mistook Alfred for his brother, and it noted his main contribution in life was his invention of dynamite.  Alfred changed his life dramatically and installed the Nobel Prize so he would be remembered for something positive. 

Mark Twain was on a speaking tour in London when a rumor surfaced that he was seriously ill.  An American newspaper actually printed his obituary.  Twain famously stated: “The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated.”

This week legendary actor Dick Van Dyke appeared on “The Masked Singer” show.   He said he had an advantage:  “I think some people thought I was dead!”

You may or may not read your own obituary, and people may or may not think you are dead, but the truth is all of us will die.  Someday.

Solomon said:   After all, everyone dies. —Ecclesiastes 7:2 (NLT)

Here is the question:  How can we live in light of our impending death?

Let’s look at the Bible’s book of Ecclesiastes seven for seven tips on how to live in view of our death.

I will say, this is the passage I speak from whenever I officiate a funeral.  If you have heard me speak at a memorial service, you’ve probably heard me speak from Ecclesiastes seven.  If I speak at your funeral, I will speak on this chapter.  If I speak at your funeral, you’ll be dead and won’t hear it, so now is your chance!  If I die before you, I won’t get to speak at your funeral, so again, here is what you would miss:

A good reputation is more valuable than costly perfume.  And the day you die is better than the day you are born.  Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties.  After all, everyone dies— so the living should take this to heart. Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us.  A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time.—Ecclesiastes 7:1-4 (NLT)

 This passage contains one of the most disturbing, surprising, confusing and even puzzling statements in the entire Bible.  Solomon says: 

And the day you die is better than the day you are born. —Ecclesiastes 7:1 (NLT)

At first, I thought this was a typo or misprint.  What?  My parents were both born on September 18.  My family always celebrates that day.  My mom died on April 14; my dad died on August 23—both super sad days for us. 

But Solomon challenges that.  How can the day you die be better than the day you were born?

The answer is actually quite intuitive:  The next life is designed to be better than this one.  Our birthday is the day we entered this life.  Our death day is the day we enter the next life.  And it can be so much better than this:  heaven, perfection, mansions, streets of gold, rivers of living water, the end of disease, hurt, pain, death.  In heaven there will be no more bad referee calls at the end of a playoff game or Super Bowl.  This life can be in many ways meaningless.  The next life can be the most meaningful.

How to Live in Light of Death:

1. Enjoy life the best we can

 Don’t long for “the good old days.” This is not wise. —Ecclesiastes 7:10 (NLT)

 Over and over in this book we see Solomon talking about enjoying life.

So I decided there is nothing better than to enjoy food and drink and to find satisfaction in work. Then I realized that these pleasures are from the hand of God.—Ecclesiastes 2:24 (NLT)

Solomon mentions enjoying life in chapter two, then fourteen more times in this book!  We might as well make the most of it and enjoy ourselves while we are here.

2.  Check our reputation

A good reputation is more valuable than costly perfume. —Ecclesiastes 7:1 (NLT)

Your reputation precedes you—people can smell it a mile away!   

What do you smell like?  What aroma is your reputation emanating? 

Do you emit a pleasant scent?  Do people want to be around you because they want your fragrance to rub off on them?

Or is your life like a bad odor?  Do people not want to get a whiff of you?  Do you stink?  Do you reek?

Here is the good news:  You can change your bouquet into something good.

Finishing is better than starting. —Ecclesiastes 7:8 (NLT)

 3.  Spend time at funerals

Better to spend your time at funerals than at parties… A wise person thinks a lot about death, while a fool thinks only about having a good time. —Ecclesiastes 7:2 & 4 (NLT)

A college student informed the professor that he could not take the midterm exam because of a funeral. "No problem," the prof told him. "Make it up the following week."

That week came, and again he couldn't take the test due to another funeral.

"You'll have to take the test early next week," the teacher insisted; "I can't keep postponing it."

"I'll take the test next week if no one dies," the student replied.

By now the professor was suspicious. "How can you have so many people you know pass away in three weeks?" he asked.  "I don't know any of these people," the student said. "I'm the only gravedigger in town."

George Burns quipped, “Dying is not popular; it has never caught on.  That's understandable; it's bad for the complexion.”

In our culture we avoid talking about death, we avoid funerals unless we are clearly obligated to go.  We protect our kids from funeral services.  Solomon suggests we lean into it.

One of these days, my obituary is going to be accurate.  We will all have some sort of funeral service.

I was heading toward LAX a while back when my nephew suggested, “There is a cemetery near the airport.  The guy who wrote, ‘Take Me Out to the Ballgame’ is buried there.  Maybe you should check it out.”  I said, “What are you talking about?”  He then told me one of his hobbies is walking through cemeteries. 

That’s weird!  But Solomon would say, “That’s wise!”

4.  Grieve

Sorrow is better than laughter, for sadness has a refining influence on us. —Ecclesiastes 7:3 (NLT)

 Sorrow.  Other versions have this as frustration, aggravation, or crying.  It is okay to cry.  It is even recommended. 

Psychology Today defines it this way:  “Grief is the acute pain that accompanies loss.”

Grief has no timetable.  Not everyone goes through the exact same stages in the same order at the same level.  It is just difficult.  But sorrow has a positive—a refining influence on us.

I have a great deal of respect for people who have lost much and grieved well.

 Down in verse 9 Solomon says,

Control your temper, for anger labels you a fool. —Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NLT)

Anger is unresolved grief.

Grief researcher Russel Friedman warned, “Unresolved grief leaves anger incomplete, which in-turn becomes frozen as a resentment. The primary goal of effective grief recovery is to help people discover and complete what was left emotionally unfinished for them in their relationships with people who have died, or people from whom they’re divorced or estranged.”

5.  Get around wise people

Better to be criticized by a wise person than to be praised by a fool. —Ecclesiasts 7:5 (NLT)

 So I decided to compare wisdom with foolishness and madness (for who can do this better than I, the king? I thought, “Wisdom is better than foolishness, just as light is better than darkness. For the wise can see where they are going, but fools walk in the dark.”—Ecclesiastes 2:12-14 (NLT)

You get a choice, hang out with fools or wise.  Isn’t the implication here that we hang out with older people too?  They have lived some, we can learn from them.

Charles Stanley put it this way, "The essence of wisdom, from a practical standpoint, is pausing long enough to look at our lives -- invitations, opportunities, relationships from God's perspective. And then acting on it"

6.  Don’t give death any assistance

Dan Sullivan says, “Death has been around a long time.  It is powerful, and it doesn’t need any help from me!”

Do not be a fool—why die before your time? —Ecclesiastes 7:17 (NLT)

We can’t add any years to our lives—King Hezekiah in Isaiah 38 is an exception—but we can cut our own lives short.  Let’s not do that!

None of us can hold back our spirit from departing. None of us has the power to prevent the day of our death. —Ecclesiastes 8:8 (NLT)

“Death is a challenge. It tells us not to waste time. It tells us to tell each other right now that we love each other.” — Leo Buscaglia

My prayer is that when I die, all of hell rejoices that I am out of the fight. -CS Lewis

7.  Accept the way God does things

Accept the way God does things…--Ecclesiastes 7:13 (NLT)

I was asked this week, If Jesus is the only way, what about those people in Afghanistan who never heard of him?”

My answer was simply, “I trust God to handle that.”

Let’s look at Solomon’s problematic statement again:

And the day you die is better than the day you are born. —Ecclesiastes 7:1 (NLT)

Notice, the next life can be better than this one.  We do have a choice—forgiveness, life with God, and perfection. Or aloneness, isolation, hell.  We get to choose. 

Let’s choose life.  Admit we need a Savior.  Believe Jesus died and rose for us.  Commit to him.

Let me end with a great quote from missionary Jim Elliott who was martyred for his faith: 

"When it comes time to die, make sure all you have to do is die."-- Jim Elliot